Chapter 02: Romantic Affairs
At that time, I still believed that as long as Zitan married me, he would be able to gain the protection of the Wang family and would be able to live safely and soundly in the palace
That silk handkerchief has since been deeply locked away in the bottom of the box, with a slight crease on it, which is the tear of Zi Dan.
I once again believe that beautiful things are always difficult to last long
This gentle youth inherits the noble and elegant appearance of the royal family, yet his temperament is calm and serene, much like that of his delicate and sensitive mother. It seems as if he is naturally incapable of being angry about anything; no matter what happens, he merely gazes at you quietly with a hint of gentle smile.
In my heart, a subtle change is quietly taking place
At that time, I always felt that time passed too slowly, I was never yet fifteen years old, and before reaching the age of maturity, I could not accept marriage proposals
That was my first experience with death; no matter how my mother tried to explain and comfort me through her tears, I was unwilling to accept this reality
Zi Dan lowered her gaze upon me, her eyes profound and deep, harboring a kind of enchanting allure I had never encountered before
After that birthday banquet, my aunt said that as I grow older, there is a distinction between men and women, and I should not associate too closely with the princes anymore
As he spoke these words, his gaze was gentle, a faint melancholy shrouded his features, and a sense of compassion lingered in his eyes
When I turned fifteen, Zitan had just reached twenty-one. Although he had just passed the age of maturity, he seemed very old in my eyes
I have taken a liking to my aunt's phoenix bed and have been pestering my mother to get me an identical one
The sight of Awu frowning is beautiful, yet it makes my heart ache. His voice is soft and sorrowful, instantly causing my cheeks to flush red.
His embrace is both warm and comfortable, making me not want to leave anymore
However, before I reached the age of fifteen and the coming of my coming-of-age ceremony, Consort Xie passed away
Although the Xie family has repeatedly faced exclusion and has fallen into decline, the aunt remains concerned about the son of Consort Xie—His Highness the Third Prince, Zi Tan
However, the royal family has never strictly adhered to this system; they only observe a three-month mourning period in the palace and appoint another trusted palace servant to replace them at the royal tomb for the mourning. Once the one-year period is completed, they may marry.
After this catastrophe, the vitality of the gentry was severely wounded, large areas of farmland were abandoned, and the aristocracy ceased agricultural pursuits, relying on land and agricultural rents for their livelihood across generations. Many noble families, having lost their financial support, could no longer sustain their large households, and their status declined overnight.
Princess Consort Xie Wanrong, renowned for her exceptional talent and graceful beauty, stands out in the capital. I hold her in great admiration, and the Emperor also praises her with the demeanor of a virtuous mother
He said that the royal tombs are very safe places and there is nothing wrong with them
My heart feels as if a spring has flowed through it, becoming very soft all at once
Mother laughed in astonishment, but the aunt sighed, "It is a pity that Awu is too young"
His features, eyes, and expression, the warm yet unfamiliar masculine aura emanating from his collar, left me at a loss, my heart feeling both bewildered and flustered, yet also sweetly enchanted
After that, I no longer feared death
Officials in various regions took advantage of the chaos to line their own pockets, engaging in widespread corruption. Military generals seized the opportunity during the wars to expand their power and bolster their forces. The military-led cold clan gradually gained the upper hand, forcing the court to retreat step by step
I stood behind him for a long time, and he remained unaware until I presented a silk handkerchief before him
As I lowered my head, blushing, he smiled and slowly tightened his embrace, holding me even closer
He reached out to brush away that leaf, but his long fingers brushed against my brow, sending a peculiar shiver through my forehead and into my body
Once, after getting angry, I scolded him, "Why are you so old? By the time I grow up, you will already be an old man!"
Once I reach the age of marriage, it won't be long before someone comes to propose. My parents will marry me off, and for the rest of my life, I will have to be with a man I do not know, until old age—thinking about it, how terrifying it is
She has always been frail and sickly, yet she never complains or laments. Even when bedridden, she always maintains a neat appearance, and until her last moments, she did not show a trace of weariness or distress. With only a hint of serene smile, she peacefully fell asleep.
Jin'er deeply bowed to him, then got up and stepped aside from the path
Especially with the Wang family having a deep foundation and a wide network, there is also the fact that Wang from Qingyang commands an army of 200,000 stationed in the south
No matter what trouble one gets into, as long as one hides in the Wanshou Palace and clings to the embrace of one's grandmother, any punishment will be kept at bay by her, just like a canopy firmly spread above us, allowing us to never worry about any storms, even the emperor is powerless to intervene
Zi Dan was stunned, unable to speak for a long while, simply staring at me with a mix of laughter and tears.
Regardless of how domineering her aunt may be, she has never engaged in conflict with her, nor has she taken advantage of her favor to act arrogantly; she simply endures in silence.
The Wang family of Langya has been the leader of the gentry for three hundred years since the establishment of our dynasty, enjoying the highest prestige among the aristocratic families. They have intermarried with the royal family for generations and hold significant power in the court. The Wang family has produced numerous distinguished scholars and eminent figures throughout the ages, leaving behind a legacy of talent and fame, deeply admired by officials across the realm. They are renowned for their literary elegance and charm, making them the foremost noble family of the current era
That year, I was only seven years old and did not quite understand what it meant to get married; I simply had never liked the overbearing Prince Brother.
He merely glanced once, then turned his face away, concealing his expression from view
My mother is the only sister of the current emperor, the highly favored Princess Jinmin, beloved by the Empress Dowager
I am not worried at all; even if my aunt dislikes Zidan, she would certainly not favor any other young scions.
Aunt and mother exchanged smiles, while brother stood by with a mischievous grin, saying, "Silly Awu, only the queen is allowed to sleep on the phoenix couch. Do you perhaps wish to marry the Crown Prince?"
My name is Wang Xuan, and I was granted the title of Princess of Shangyang at birth
In the warm spring of March, the palace walls are adorned with green willows, and the graceful young girls wear thin-sleeved spring garments, calling out to the elegant young men before them
During the palace banquet, the ladies all took pride in receiving a glance from Brother Bo. ... However, Zi Dan, despite being a prince and possessing a demeanor even more elegant than Brother Bo, was not as popular among the girls ... . ... This was because I was by his side.
Lady Xie has been a thorn in the side of the aunt for many years
However, at this moment, he was unwilling to issue an edict to keep his beloved son.
The Wang family has historically not been prosperous in terms of descendants, and by the time of my grandfather, the lineage had already begun to dwindle. Now, in the main branch, there are only my elder brother and me. However, the collateral relatives have long since branched out and spread across our ancestral home in Langya, even reaching prominent families in the capital, holding significant positions of power. The intricate influence of the Wang family has deeply embedded itself within the very foundation of the entire dynasty
On weekdays, it is always my elder brother who comes up with the worst ideas, while I am the one who benefits, and the Third Prince serves as the shield standing in front of me forever
Zidan, let us go horseback riding
No matter how I pleaded outside the Zhaoyang Hall, my aunt refused to see me... My mother, feeling helpless, secretly took me to see the Emperor, asking him to issue an edict to keep Zidan.
That war lasted a full seven years, with nearly half of the elite offspring of the gentry participating in it
At that moment, I quietly stood on the city wall, gazing from afar as he dismounted, bending down to receive the wooden box
Zidan's carriage arrived at Taihua Gate, where my personal maid Jin'er had been waiting early on
In my childhood, I could never distinguish which was my home, the palace or the residence of the Duke of Jingguo
Truly at a loss due to the commotion, he would feign a heavy sigh—such mischief, how will you be my princess in the future
Each time, he would smile and patiently accompany me, fulfilling any request I had
Looking at my tearful eyes, the Emperor sighed heavily, "Such cleverness, but alas, also bears the surname Wang..."
However, her aunt does not like her, and the Crown Prince is also indifferent towards her
I did not take it to heart, relying on the favor of the Empress Dowager and my mother, and still secretly went to see Zi Tan behind my aunt's back
Whenever he utters this phrase, I am always left blushing furiously, like a cat that has had its tail stepped on, immediately turning around to flee
Wherever elder brother and Zi Dan passed, there were always little palace maids hiding behind the corridors, secretly peeking.
The departure of Consort Xie made the Emperor seem to age ten years overnight
Moreover, I have acquired a new secret
Under the era of peace and prosperity, no one expected that the war would last this long
When we first stood side by side together, toasting at the Emperor's birthday banquet, the slightly inebriated Emperor dropped the wine cup from his hand and said to the favored concubine, Xie, "My dear, look, the celestial maidens from the Nine Heavens have descended to celebrate my birthday!"
Not long after, my elder brother officially entered the court at the age of twenty, sent by our father to train under our uncle. Our uncle, having been appointed as a special envoy, was managing the river works in Huai Prefecture, and thus took my brother along to Huai Prefecture for his assignment
My aunt has no daughters, and often keeps me by her side, personally teaching me the rituals, allowing me to study alongside the princes and princesses, and even indulging me to the extent that I can fall asleep on the queen's phoenix couch in the Zhaoyang Palace when I am tired from playing
A low chuckle from Zidan echoed behind me, lingering in my heart for a long time afterward
Uncle oversees the Imperial Guard and holds the official title of Minister of War
That night, Zi Dan kept vigil alone before the spirit, silently shedding tears, which flowed down the contours of his face and soaked the collar of his garment
After years of severe drought, the national treasury was depleted, epidemics ran rampant, and extreme poverty led to evil deeds, ultimately resulting in a rebellion of one hundred thousand disaster victims in the sixth year of Jian'an
Whenever we appear together, we always attract a chorus of admiration and astonishment from those around us
Lady Xie is very fond of me
My father politely declined one by one, citing my minority status as the reason
Lady Xie, at the age of thirty-seven, is as beautiful as a woman depicted in a light ink painting, as if time itself is reluctant to leave any marks upon her.
On the day Zi Dan left the capital, I did not go to see him off, fearing that if he saw me in tears, it would only make him more sorrowful
Having just celebrated her thirteenth birthday, the prominent families seeking to propose marriage were almost on the verge of breaking down the threshold of the Jingguo Duke's residence
The glorious era has finally passed and will not return
My mother has already tacitly accepted my feelings and occasionally goes to the palace of Concubine Xie to sit idly.
After decades of struggle, several prominent families have suffered defeats, and their power has gradually diminished
I used a silk handkerchief to wipe his tears, yet he embraced me and told me not to cry
Those carefree years, yet they have flown by unexpectedly like lightning
After the great mourning, I still go to the Wanshou Palace every day, just as I did when the Empress Dowager was alive, holding the raccoon dog that my grandmother loved the most, sitting alone in the hall, waiting for my grandmother to come out from the inner chamber, smiling and calling me "Little Awu"
Zi Dan, Zi Dan, Zi Dan
Two years later, the Crown Prince will marry. I will be only nine years old, not yet of marriageable age, and the candidate for Crown Princess will be the elder sister of the Xie family
Zi Dan is already nineteen years old and will soon be able to be conferred a princess consort. If it were not for my youth, Concubine Xie would have long since requested the Emperor to grant us a marriage. I am very worried that he may not wait for me to grow up and might be married off to someone else by the Emperor on any given day
He raised his head, and a tear fell onto the silk handkerchief.
It turns out that my own tears flow more fiercely than his
That day, he said to me, the cycles of birth, aging, illness, and death in the human world are all predetermined; regardless of wealth or poverty, whether in life or in death, what suffering is there to be found
As the Empress Dowager, my aunt, exemplified maternal virtue throughout the realm and single-handedly elevated my cousin to the position of Crown Prince
The only families that can still stand at the forefront and contend with it are the Wang and Xie clans
A fallen leaf drifts down, just as the wind blows it against the face
Once my brother left, it felt as if only Zitan and I remained in the palace and outside of it.
He no longer looked back, urged his horse with the whip, and vanished into the dust.
Sitting beside the wisteria planted by my grandmother, I look up at the falling dry leaves in the autumn breeze, life is so fleeting, vanishing before my eyes in the blink of an eye
On a rainy night, the mournful bells toll long, and the six palaces are in mourning
Due to a sudden chill, her condition worsened, and before the plums, which were specially offered to her every spring from a thousand miles away by Consort Xie and others, could arrive, she passed away hastily
My brother and I entered the palace at a young age to serve as companions to the princes. The Crown Prince was mischievous, the Second Prince was frail and often ill, but only the Third Prince grew up with us, frequently studying and playing together, fostering a close bond between us
The noble youths, clad in fine garments and riding spirited horses, only think of galloping onto the battlefield to establish unparalleled achievements
The chill of early autumn seeps through the thin gauze clothing, penetrating deep into my heart. I feel cold, cold to the fingertips, cold and without support
A significant portion of my childhood was spent within the palace, and to this day, my sleeping quarters remain in the Fengchi Palace
Many young scions of noble families have forever left their boiling blood and vibrant lives on the battlefield
At the beginning of the late emperor's reign, the three kings vied for power, colluding with foreign invaders to instigate a rebellion
Zidan, I want to see you paint
In the sixth year of Yongxi, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, Empress Dowager Xiaoxian Jingren passed away
The Xie family has fallen from power. All along, the only support for Zitan has been the Emperor's unwavering favor towards Consort Xie for decades. It is precisely because of this favor that he has attracted the jealousy of his aunt. The Emperor can afford to neglect the Empress and the inner palace for the sake of a favored consort, but he cannot offend the powerful and influential maternal relatives for the sake of a prince. The former is merely a matter of the imperial family, while the latter concerns state affairs.
However, the decisiveness with which my aunt acts was something I could never have anticipated
According to ancestral customs, after the death of their parents, children should observe a period of mourning for three years
Other girls are unwilling to come of age and leave home, fearing the coming-of-age ceremony
My mother is the most beloved youngest daughter of the Empress Dowager, and I am my mother's only daughter. My aunt once jokingly said, "The Princess is the most beautiful flower of the Heavenly Empire, while the Little Princess is the most crystalline dewdrop on the flower's petal." At that time, neither my aunt nor I realized that although the dewdrop is delicate and beautiful, it cannot withstand the scorching sunlight; the most wonderful things are always fleeting.
However, the aunt does not like Zitan
Fortunately, I have Zidan.
As long as the foundation of the nation remains, anyone who wishes to shake my family will find it impossible, not even the Emperor can do so
At that time, relying on the Empress Dowager's favor, we were always able to play and frolic without restraint
Since the Wang family, the four prominent clans of the Xie, Wen, Wei, and Gu families have served as the backbone, allowing the power of the gentry and imperial relatives in both the court and the realm to continuously expand, reaching a peak where they could almost rival the imperial family. The glory of the noble gentry has persisted until the time of the late emperor
Zidan, I will play a new piece for you to listen to
Having lost his mother, he found himself with no one to rely on in this vast palace.
However, after the death of Consort Xie, a decree was issued stating that the son Dan Chun was commendable for his filial piety, and he requested to personally go to the imperial tomb to observe mourning for three years for his mother
One evening, after being scolded by my aunt, I ran to the Wanshou Palace in a fit of anger, drove away all the palace maids, and sat there in a daze by myself
At the time of the current emperor's ascension to the throne, the northern Turks and the neighboring southern countries are constantly causing disturbances, leading to ongoing border troubles
As the three of us gradually grew up, we reached the age of budding youth, already displaying the initial charm of young men and women
Throughout the government and society, as well as in various provinces and counties, the disciples of the father are widely distributed
At a time of turmoil, a soldier of humble origins from the Han clan rapidly rose in rank due to military achievements during the war, swiftly expanding his influence and gaining control over a vast military power, thus reversing the strategy of our dynasty that had prioritized civil over military affairs for centuries. The once despised and lowly military general gradually ascended to the pinnacle of power
Because Sister Wanrong is the niece of the favored Consort Xie of the Emperor
However, years of continuous warfare have led to the neglect of agriculture among the populace, resulting in desolate farmlands and the displacement of countless common people, who are further afflicted by an unprecedented prolonged drought. After seven years of conflict, the number of civilians who have perished due to famine and warfare amounts to tens of thousands
Jin Er brought a small old wooden box, inside of which there is an item that will accompany him by his side
Suddenly, I felt a warmth on my shoulder as a pair of warm hands gently enveloped me
Looking across the capital, the most renowned handsome man is undoubtedly the Third Prince, followed by his elder brother
The father, serving as a high-ranking official in two dynasties, held the position of Right Chancellor and concurrently the Grand Marshal, and was granted the title of Duke of Jingguo
On ordinary days, only in front of Zidan does he resemble a loving father, rather than the solemn and serious emperor.
I hope that Zidan can leave with a smile as he did in the past, like the most proud and noble prince in my heart, whose sadness and tears will not be seen by anyone.
A familiar scent enveloped me, and in an instant, the delicate fragrance of magnolia filled my entire world
This is the first time he has said I am beautiful. Over the years, he has watched me grow up, he has called me well-behaved, he has called me silly, he has called me mischievous, but he has never said I am beautiful; like my brother, he has held my hand countless times, pulled my braids, but he has never embraced me like this.
The passing of my grandmother did not leave me in sorrow for long, after all, I was young at heart, and even the greatest pain can heal quickly
Both the Crown Prince and the Second Prince have already conferred titles upon their consorts. Looking across the capital, the only person of suitable status and age to match me is Zidan
My family prefers to call me by my nickname, Awu
Zidan, let us play chess
The precious and delicate ice silk is most afraid of getting wet; once it comes into contact with moisture, it will leave creases that can never be smoothed out again
Although I am still naive, I have come to understand the importance of the maternal family to the prince
I was born into the Wang family of Langya